he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
