glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
