Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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