That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
