Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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