i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
