You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
