You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
