Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
