I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
