i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
