Hey man sorry I got all grabby
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
