AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
