you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
