Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
