Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
