I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
