I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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