You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
