i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
