Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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