This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
