thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
