Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
