So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
