Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
