I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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