It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
