my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
