Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
