On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
