Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
