I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
