Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
