YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
