Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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