He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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