laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
