All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
