I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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