What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
