if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
try to milk me bitch
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