This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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