Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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