god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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