K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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