She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
