Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
