Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
