How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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