If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
